My Daughter

Spending time with my daughter I am constantly reminded of all the ways that families and careers trap us in these obsessive, fearful, defensive, status-obsessed, über-practical, blinded-by-details, self-deceiving cocoons. In attempting to protect and prepare our children for all possibilities, we weave webs of worry and neurosis around ourselves. We entangle our lives so deeply that both we and our children can only live through each other, which only makes us more desperate and thus more driven to live our lives through the other. It is just an endless cycle of preparing kids to live stressful lives so that they may grow up and become even more stressed through the effort of instilling stress into their kids, and so on and on to infinity. Children make any alternatives to those same old lives that everybody else lives unthinkable.

Spending time with my daughter, I also know that she is the most potent emotional charge in my life, the thing that keeps me both grounded and flying high. Her boundless love and affection is an end in itself. I just want nothing more than to return it. I wonder how I can even imagine futures in which there is a possibility that I might not always be there for her. What could be more fulfilling?

Sometime I just spend time with my daughter playing “Clue” or something like that. We have a good time and it is no big deal. She’ll grow up and do her own thing like she should, just like billions of human children before her.


Posted on November 25, 2012, in My Life, The Search and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s