Still Sleeping

It’s the second half of life. I’ve done the accumulation and social responsibility shit. I know I don’t want more of the same, just turning the wheels until I die. So why don’t I just drop everything and search for enlightenment, awakening, truth-realization, whatever?

  • Alimony
  • Health Insurance
  • A daughter
  • Sex (although why this should conflict with the search, I don’t know)
  • Fear of loneliness
  • Fear that it just an escape (fear of failure #1)
  • Suspicion that this is just my usual pattern of withdrawal and non-conformism –the gilded prison of my ego (fear of failure #2)
  • It would make my mom unhappy and worried
  • A lingering sense of responsibility to certain aspects of my job
  • My habit of skepticism
  • It would be a stupid thing to do (i.e. fear, skepticism, practicality, responsibility all rolled into one)

Damn

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Posted on July 9, 2012, in My Life, The Big Questions and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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